unspoken words

Mr. X,

Maybe you will read this and maybe you won’t. Perhaps you will run across my blog years from now and might think it’s the most beautiful message you have ever read. At the time i knew you i know that I will love you. But when you said those three sweet words, I wasn’t ready to hear them…Honestly, I was scared. I didn’t know if I could say those words back… You promised not to hurt me . But I have been hurt so many times, I believed that all love could do was –hurt– and I didn’t believe in it at all… and now that i’m ready to SHOUT those words back to you it kills me to know that you have to go… i’m not selfish to hold you back but just in case you’ll turn your back and wish to be with me i’ll cross my fingers and toss my dice in order for us to be together in GOD’s perfect time..

--goodbye--

taking actions

A few weeks ago, my supervisor asked me to listen the verint of my call. It was really embarrassing. I can't imagine myself taking call that way. Well, I just turned out to be an irate agent for that time and I even don't know why. I lost my patience for such manageable conversation with a customer... and then my supervisor asked me, " what's wrong? do you have any problem that you might want to share" ?...without me knowing tears rolled down my eyes and then i replied.. " uhm sup, if ever there is a need to for me to sign on something, my pen is ready for it or i might as well just pass my resignation letter tomorrow then"... Oops, can i take that back?..

the next thing happened he asked me to log out and we went downstairs to talk. I felt guilty and stupid, all i wanted at that time is to cover my face with the jacket i was holding. he looked at me as if i was a child scolded by a dad.. the last thing i know i cried, again.

well, that was days ago when i was stubborn and weak. I allowed myself to overpower the ache inside me when i worked. Now i have sorted out the pain and manage not to let problems bother me.

Moral lesson: don't let FAKE friends affect you..

_ Single MoM_

Waking up in wee hours to either change diapers or do a baby milk formula is probably the hardest part of being a MOM but would you agree with me that it's the sweetest sacrifice for an angel from God.

I can proudly say that i love being a mom , single MOM to be exact. Not even a single regret crossed my mind.

There may be times when you think of screaming until your lungs aches. Times when you want to shout every person who wants answers why you and your child's dad are not together. It's better this way. No aches , no pains.

Yet one of the hardest things about being a single parent is, every decision has to be made by YOU and carry every burden on your aching shoulders. There would never a time that you can turn to someone and say "Hey, I can't do this...can you take it for me " ?

Yes indeed Friends and Family are always there to lend a hand, but it's different if you have someone sharing the same responsibility.

But i love being a single mom. Why? Because I'm happy with my 5 year old daughter. Planning to have another Man again? Maybe, if the right one comes and will accept me and my kid , why not. I almost have him actually , but perhaps he's not the right one. I'm not bitter, but I'm almost a man-hater.